Married to the Preacher Sleeping with the Deacon

Why did Carla tell her husband about the affair when she did? Why did she have to tell him at all? It was Saturday evening, May 11th, when she received the anonymous call. The lady on the phone was very upset. She had seen Carla with Troy that day and had seen them kiss and caress. It was at the Marlow Walmart, some 30 or 40 miles away.

Perhaps the distance had given Carla a sense of security. Perhaps she had thought they were far enough away. Far enough to avoid certain spectators. Far enough to avoid the peering eyes of family and friends..... and church members. Carla is the pastor's wife and, as the pastor's wife, you can't carry on like this in broad daylight. Leastways, not here. Not in these parts. This is rural Oklahoma, the buckle of the Bible belt, where folks still pray, where the flag still waves, and where the Ten Commandments are still regarded as commandments. Not suggestions.

The caller was very distraught and asserted, If you don't tell your husband what's goin' on, I'm gonna tell him for you! With panic in her voice, Carla demanded, Who is this?! But the caller wouldn't say. She wouldn't identify herself, but only hung up the phone.

With receiver in hand, Carla stood there looking as though she had seen a ghost. Mark asked, Who was it? They wouldn't say, replied Carla. He could tell that the call had really disturbed her. I wouldn't let it bother me, he said, It was probably just some prankster. Mark was trying to console his wife, but the consolation wasn't wanted. She had just received the shock of her life and anything her husband had to say wasn't going to help. So she politely tuned him out. She tuned him out and held her tongue. She didn't want to talk about it. Leastways, not with Mark.

As soon as Mark returned to his studies, Carla slipped out the back. She was running to the church to call her beau. She was running to call Troy. Their secret was out and she had to tell Troy. When Troy heard the news, an enormous sense of dread gripped the pit of his stomach. He could only assume the worst. It was just a matter of time before Barbara, his wife, knew about him and Carla. Neither Troy nor Carla could hope that the caller would keep silent.

Troy had always known that this day would come. He had always known that, sooner or later, he'd have to make a choice. He had always known that keeping a mistress on the side was nigh impossible. Especially in this foreboding town where nearly everyone knows everything about everybody. He had always known that, sooner or later, he'd have to let one of 'em go, or risk losing both. Troy had delayed the decision as long as possible, but, now, he could delay it no longer. If he didn't tell Barbara about the affair, she'd soon find out from another source.

Troy made his decision. It was Tuesday, May 14th. He arrived home from work shortly after 5:00 p.m. Barbara was in the kitchen preparing dinner. Troy walked in and politely announced, I want you to pack up your bags and get out. At first, she thought he was kidding. You can't be serious, said Barbara. But Troy assured her he was. He was dead serious. But, still, she couldn't believe it.

What would possess her husband to throw in the towel like this? What would cause him to just call it quits? Sure, they had had their ups and downs and, sure, things hadn't always been perfect. But, overall, it had been a pretty good marriage. Or so she thought. What's happening?!, she cried as the tears began to flow. Troy continued, I'm goin' for a drive in the pickup. When I get back, I want you gone!

Barbara had no idea what was happening, nor could she. Troy was trying to defuse a bomb. He wanted his wife out of town before the scandal hit. Truth is, he probably knew their marriage was over. She'd be dumping him quick once she learned of the affair. But, by making the first move, it's him dumping her instead of vice versa.

Troy left with the pickup. Barbara packed up her things, took their little girl, the family car, and headed for Texas. She was going to her parents' in Gladewater, Texas. Troy had made his decision. Now it was Carla's turn to make hers.

As Barbara began her trek to the Lone Star State, Mark and Jess, his two-year-old son, were taking a stroll in a nearby field. They were picking a bouquet of wild flowers for Mama. Mama was inside the house fixin' dinner. When the boys returned, they presented the flowers to Carla and, though she had seen them through the window, she acted surprised. Surprised and elated.

After putting the flowers in a vase, Carla returned to the stove where she was frying chicken. Mark wrestled with Jess on the living room floor. Amid the frivolity and laughter, Jess began to advance. He began to attack and, using his infamous sit on the tummy maneuver, pinned his daddy to the carpet. Mark let out a yell, wiggled and squirmed, acting like he couldn't get free. Dad was down for the count! When Mark finally conceded, Carla hurrahed and Jesse giggled with glee! You would've thought he had just won the world's heavyweight title. And, as far as little Jess was concerned..... he had.

The sounds of joy and the smell of fried chicken were in the air. It was an evening of food, fun, and laughter. Everything seemed so right. Everything seemed so good. A sense of warmth and well-being filled the home. But the sense was deceptive. It was only the calm before the storm.

There's a bond between Mark and Jess that's hard to describe. The two are inseparable. You will never find another father who loves his son more than Mark loves little Jess, and you'll never find a little boy who loves his daddy more than little Jess loves his. Jesse's whole life revolves around his daddy, and Jess is Mark's pride and joy.

You might say Mark has acquired himself a little shadow. Wherever he goes, Jess is sure to follow. But, more than just a shadow, Jess has also become quite the helper. Mark can't go to the Post Office, empty the trash, or put a steak on the grill without little Jess thinking he needs to help. He takes such pride in helping his daddy. And Mark takes pride in helping his son.

At the ripe old age of two, Jess can count up to ten and, with the help of flash cards, can recite the entire alphabet. Mark has spent much time working with him and teaching him. But, actually, it's more play than work. They've made a game of it and really don't think of it as work.

Whenever Jess has trouble sleeping at night, he stands in his bed and cries. But not for long. As soon as Jess starts crying, Mark springs to his feet and heads for his room. He picks up his son holding him close and, as this cuddly toddler rests his little head on his daddy's broad shoulders, his daddy bounces him gently, singing lullabies and medleys as he rocks him to sleep. In no time at all, little Jess is sound asleep.

Each new day is a whole new beginning. A beginning filled with new adventures and discoveries to behold. And, to this curious two-year-old, almost everything seems new. The world is a wonder waiting to be explored. However, just as Lewis needed Clark, and like Magellan needed his crew, little Jess is needing his daddy. He's needing his companion and guide. His compass and scout. His stalwart bastion to ward off his enemies and defend against his foes. Besides, havin' Dad along means free transportation. A free piggyback ride!

It was late afternoon, Wednesday, May 15th, when Carla came and stood in the bathroom doorway. She stood there in silence, looking at her husband. Mark stood in front of the sink, shaving. What's up? he inquired, What's on your mind? But Carla said nothing. She just stood there. No reply. She wasn't meaning to ignore him, but her mind was somewhere else, racing 90 mph as she tried to find the words. How do you tell your husband there's been another man? How do you tell your husband that the marriage is all over? That everything he's lived for is coming to an end? How do you tell him? What do you say? Finally, with much hesitation, Carla speaks.

I've been seeing someone, she announced, Someone you know. As she proceeded, Mark just stood there. He stood there in shock. In shock and disbelief. Never in a million years would he imagine her doing what she was now confessing. He couldn't believe his ears. He just couldn't believe it. It was all so surreal. It's the type of thing you hear about on the talk shows, or read about in the tabloids. It's also the type of thing that only happens to others. Never to you.

As Carla continued, she showed no remorse, gave no apology, and expressed no regret, but simply stated things as a matter of fact. She told Mark that she doesn't love him anymore and that she's in love with another. That she's in love with Troy. And, no sooner did the words pass her lips, Mark swerved to face his wife. For a split second their eyes made contact, but Carla looked away. With alarm in his voice and anguish in his eyes, Mark cried out, Carla! What are you saying?! Then, trying to console her husband, Carla replied, I love you, but I'm not in love with you. But the words rang hollow.

When she finished the confession, she stood there and waited. She waited for response, but there was none. Mark stood there in silence, bracing himself against the sink. With face flushed and eyes beginning to water, he remained there frozen. Frozen like a statue. Carla still waited. The silence was deafening. For God's sake! Say something! she demanded. But Mark said nothing. That is, nothing out loud. What'll I do? Where will I go? Is this the end of my marriage? Is this the end of our home?? And what about the ministry? What about the church?

A million thoughts raced through his mind and a million questions begged to be answered. But all he had were questions. No answers. Suddenly, like a bolt of lightning, he thought of little Jess! His precious little Jess! Suddenly, nothing else seemed to matter. All he could think of was Jess. What about Jess?! What'll happen to Jess?!

Clearing his throat, trying to maintain composure, Mark looked at his wife and said, I'll never find another woman who'll ever love little Jess as much as you do ? And you'll never find another man who will ever love him as much as I do. Carla answered, I know.

Another moment passed with absolute silence. Each waited for the other to speak, but nobody spoke. Carla had stopped short of saying that the marriage was over. She had assumed that news of the affair would be enough. That this revelation would drive him to the edge. That he'd be so provoked, divorce would have loomed as the only option.

Drying his eyes, and wiping the shaving cream from his face, Mark went to the phone. Carla said, What are you doing? Mark was calling Dr. Garrett, their counselor. He could see that Carla had all but made up her mind and that arguing would have been pointless. If anyone can reach her, he thought to himself, it'll be Dr. Garrett. Carla looks up to the Doc and respects his advice. If she'll listen to anyone, she'll listen to Doc. Dr. Garrett is a Family Therapist and has been counseling these two for over a year.

Mark was hoping the good Doctor could prescribe something potent, some sorta cure. He was hoping he'd say something that might persuade Carla. Something he could take to his wife and convince her to stay. Carla had already heard most everything that the Doc had had to say, and Mark knew this, but what else was there? What else could he do? He may have been grasping at straws, but, when straws are all you've got, you'd better start grasping. Dr. Garrett answered the phone and Mark made arrangements to see him within the hour.

After setting the appointment, Mark made one other call. He called to secure a fill-in preacher for that night's church service, the midweek service. He had had better days than this and, right then, was feeling pretty distraught. He was certainly in no mood to preach. After booking the sub, Mark stepped out the door, got in the car, and left. He was headed for Troy's.

Mark arrived at Troy's house pulling into the drive. Troy walked out of the garage greeting him with a smile. He greeted Mark as though nothing had happened. As though everything were the same. Prior to this day, Mark had always thought of Troy as one of his very best friends. There are few people in the world that Mark really trusts, and Troy is one of those few. Or, that is, he was.

In a calm but serious tone, Mark confronted Troy about the affair. Troy would neither admit to it, nor deny it. With a sheepish grin on his face, he just stood there. He stood there and smiled. Troy refused to respond, but Mark knew he was guilty, and Troy knew that Mark knew.

So Mark told Troy that he doesn't want him coming around his house anymore. Troy said that he won't be coming around the house anymore. Mark told Troy that he doesn't want him coming around the church anymore. Troy said he won't be coming around the church anymore. Then, having said what he came to say, Mark got back in his car, shifted into gear, and started to leave. But suddenly stopped. He stopped and rolled down the window. Just one more thing, said Mark, I don't want you callin' her on the phone anymore either! All contact with Carla stops here and now! Comprend??! Troy said he won't be calling her on the phone anymore either.

From Troy's house, Mark goes directly to Dr. Garrett's. The Doc greets him with a smile and a hand shake. Once seated, Mark begins telling the Doc about the affair, but the Doc already knows. He has known about it for quite some time. Carla has been giving him a play-by-play report ever since her involvement with Troy first began some four or five months before this. The Doc is short on advice today, but long on condolences. No miracle cures.

After talking with Dr. Garrett, Mark gets in his car and leaves. Going to the nearest highway, he moves to the fast lane and drives. He drives and drives and drives. Nowhere in particular. No destination. He just drives. Carla's words are just beginning to hit him.

I must be dreaming, he thinks to himself, This can't be happening! It just can't be happening! Any moment now I'm going to wake up! Any moment I'm going to open my eyes! I'll open my eyes, step out of bed, and all will be well. Just like before! It's all just a dream! But, try as he may, no amount of denial will change the reality, and no amount of despairing will erase what she said.

It's right about here where he stops talking to himself and talks with God. Please, God, please! Tell me this ain't happening! Tell me it ain't so!

Mark has been driving for some time now and day has turned into night. The glare from the oncoming headlights, mixed with the tears that now fill his eyes, is making it hard to focus. He can't see the road. So he pulls to the side and parks..... and sobs. He sobs and sobs and sobs, crying till he can cry no more. Till there's nothing left to cry.

At approximately 11:00 p.m. Mark returns home. He walks in the door and finds Carla there waiting. Where've you been? she inquires. But Mark just ignores her. He totally ignores her. The hour is late, his body is tired, and his anger is boiling. So, walking past his wife, he heads for the bedroom. He goes to the bedroom, gets undressed, turns out the light, and goes to bed.

Carla comes and stands in the doorway. What did Dr. Garrett have to say? she asks. Not much, Mark replies. He said he was sorry. Mark's response is followed by more silence. Carla remains in the doorway. A moment later she asks, What are we going to do? Mark replies, I don't know ? I really don't know. Having said this, he rolls to his side turning his back to his wife. Carla will sleep on the sofa tonight, but only by choice. The chill in the bedroom makes the sofa seem inviting.

The next morning, Thursday, May 16th, the silent treatment continues. Mark gives short abrupt answers to Carla's questions, but nothing more. He isn't wanting to be cruel. Okay, well maybe he is. Maybe the silent treatment is a bit cruel, but talking would be worse. Far worse. If he opened his mouth and said what he's thinking, the room would be filled with insults. Words like slut and words like itch would come gushing out. Carla would be buried beneath an avalanche of cutting remarks. By all accounts, the silence is better. Mark is needing some time. Some time to cool off.

One of the church members is having heart surgery at an Oklahoma City hospital today, and Mark needs to be there. Mark and his little shadow. Oklahoma City is about a two hour drive. Mark and Jess leave the house shortly after 7:00 a.m. and arrive at the hospital just before 9:00, where they spend the better part of the day. However, after the surgery, after the patient has been wheeled to recovery, and after the family has been briefed by the doctors, Mark sees that his presence is no longer needed. So, taking his leave, he takes little Jess and heads over to Grandma's.

Mark's parents live there in the City and, as far as Jess is concerned, no trip to the City is ever complete without seeing his Grandpa and Grandma. He loves his Grandpa and Grandma. And to say that Grandpa and Grandma love little Jess would be putting it mildly. They're crazy about him!

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I'm not a writer, says Mike, ut there was a story in me that had to be told. The story: Married to the Preacher, Sleeping with the Deacon. What started out as a personal journal quickly evolved into the heart wrenching drama it is today.

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